Things only parents should say...

After I say something to the boys, I often realize that if I wasn't a parent I would be talking like a full blown pedophile or someone with weird fetishes. Some examples are below (mostly revolving around nakedness and butts - hot topics for parents).

• "Come here and let me smell your butt" (thinking Henry pooped himself)
• "Alright little man, get naked" (me telling Cole to get ready for the tub)
• "Nothing hurts in the tub" (arguing with Cole about his hair hurting when being washed)
• "I need some privates!" (said while giving the boys a bath, I look forward to when they can scrub themselves, and their privates, clean.)
• "Come and get some" (Henry asked for a hug)
• "What did that do in your mouth?" (Cole was explaining that he likes water and popcorn in his mouth. Not sure why parents shouldn't say that, but something about it sounds gross).
• "I'm smothered in boys" (Cole and Henry climbing on me)
• "I'll look at your butt" (I made the offer to Cole when he said he had an itchy butt and wanted Kristin to take a look at it)
• "Let's get nakey" (Kristin telling Cole to get naked after playing outside and getting dirty)
• "Let's check out this butt" (Double checking to see if Cole wiped good enough)
• "That's how I like my kids, hairless" (Kristin admitted to this when we were talking about the kids fake shaving in the tub)
• "I'll do you like I do the boys" (I said this when I made Kristin tell me that she understood and got what I was telling her. I always make the boys say, "got it" and "comprende" so I know they hear me.)
• "I would love to have a boy sit on my lap" (Kristin trying to get Cole to sit with her. Sounds bad).

Looks like Henry is going to make one big cookie. I don't think Cole's will turn out much better though.

Probably good it is difficult to see. Cole waited a little too long to let us know he had to go to the bathroom, so he ended up just letting loose in a parking lot.