The Other Fuchs Report

For those that don't know, Blogger keeps stats and tracks website traffic, our "audience" as they call it. Kristin and I realize we have a very limited number of readers (maybe 4 or 5), but always thought it was funny we were getting hits from other countries; especially since neither of us know anyone who basically doesn't live in the Tri-State area (except for you Uncle Ben!). So we were confused and couldn't figure out how people from other countries would stumble upon The Fuchs Report. Some of our biggest overseas traffic was coming from Germany. Now we know why. There is a company based in Berlin called Verlag Fuchs Briefe. I believe they are a financial research company that puts together reports - "Fuchs Reports." I was starting to feel like the next Hasselhoff - huge in Germany, but I guess they are all accidental hits. Still weird is that we get a considerable number of hits from Russia, Saudi Arabia and the Philippines. But at least the Germany mystery has been solved.

I imagine we may get even more hits now thanks to another Nicholas J. Fuchs, which I'm sure you've heard about. This guy sucks. I guess it's nice to know I am not the worst Nicholas J. Fuchs in the world. Thanks asshole.

The Inconvenient Poop (and other messes)

I don't know how kids do it, but they can amazingly time their poops to coincide with trying to leave the house. This is especially true if you're running late, which is basically every time Kristin and I are going somewhere. It is virtually impossible for us to get Cole and Henry dressed, packed up and out the door on time, and rarely can we get out the door without someone having to run upstairs to change a diaper - making us even more tardy. As a little extra bonus, we always put on a fresh diaper before going somewhere, so when the pre-departure poop occurs it is in a brand new diaper. Total waste.

It took about a day of having kids to realize that kids = mess, however, it is still something that is hard to get used to. The house constantly looks like some sort of disaster has destroyed a room. I came home the other day, walked up stairs to change and found this mess to navigate through. I'm not sure why kids favorite thing to do is to empty out a container (or three). Cleaning up is pointless and I think I may just give up and learn to live surrounded by junk.

Another frequent mess

...and the bins are empty again. It did not take long.

Easter 2012

Easter 2012, as most holidays with kids, had its ups and downs. We decided to hide a bunch of eggs around the house for Cole. Some contained play-doh and others we filled with animal crackers. He was thrilled to open the eggs to find the cookies but of course had to eat the cookies right away. I guess not the best breakfast, but he seemed to enjoy the egg hunt even though he sucked at finding the eggs.

Cookies for breakfast

Cole was staring directly at the window and didn't notice a thing.

Hmm...is the egg under the cart?

Late Saturday night we decided to finally dig out the Easter baskets and stuff them with the boy's presents...only we could not find our baskets. So we improvised and used some toy buckets. Unfortunately the size of the toy buckets only magnified the obvious fact that Henry got about an eighth of the items that Cole did. I guess it is good for us that they are too little to care about that just yet. Cole didn't really seem to care about anything in his basket, except for a Gatorade. He did like Henry's one and only toy though, so realistically poor Henry got nothing for Easter.

Obviously, Cole's basket is on the left.

We ran into trouble when Cole wanted to take his grocery cart of Easter eggs (with cookies) upstairs. This resulted in a good amount of Easter crying.

This turns into screams

Once everyone was settled down from too much Easter fun we visited Kristin's Grammie. Cole got to paint some eggs with the old ladies. He wasn't a fan at first but ended up loving it so much our visit was extended from the planned 30 minutes to about 2 hours as he had to stay and paint all the eggs in the bucket - about 20 of them.



And yes, Cole did pop his top for Easter egg painting.

Later we went to brunch at the Venice Club with Grandma Dorothy, my Aunt Judy, and Jess and BF Dan. I think everyone did a good job eating their moneys worth, even Dorothy did a good job eating her body weight in desserts. I know I ate plenty and was thinking it was a good deal, until about the second we walked out the door and my stomach starting making some horrible sounds. I was much better after back to back bouts of diarrhea, but in the future I may think twice before paying $25+ for diarrhea. I guess bacon with every plate of food wasn't necessary. We discovered that Henry is a big fan of hash browns, he ate an entire adult portion, whining and reaching for Kristin's fork because she wasn't getting them in his mouth fast enough.

Plate #3 - Prime Rib with a side of bacon.

We would have rather been in FL with all the grandparents but overall it was a nice day. We even squeezed in a nice walk before bedtime...although we couldn't stray too far from a bathroom.

Baby Proofed?

We thought our house was pretty safe for kids to crawl around/live in. At least most of the rooms we hangout in; the playroom, our bedrooms and the family room. I wouldn't guaranty safety anywhere else but also wouldn't consider them dangerous. A few incidents this weekend got me thinking...the first injury luckily happened to me but it could have easily been a child. I was laying on the playroom rug, playing with Cole and noticed a piece of glass sticking out of my knuckle. It was as tiny as could be but still could have done a number to poor Henry's face or eye and Cole's bare feet. We just can't figure out where the glass came from because we vacuum weekly and have never broken a glass in the room.

The second incident, resulting in this post, occurred in Henry's room. We were all playing on the floor and noticed Henry sucking on an inch long screw. Yikes, I have no idea where it came from but it was definitely scary. I am seriously wondering what else could be laying around this house (besides shards of glass and random screws). Maybe we have some knives, guns or cocaine somewhere readily accessible to our children. My confidence is shaken on the safety and baby-proofing done in this house.

I'm also a little concerned that this is definitely not our first post which brings our parenting skills into question. Good luck boys.

The Great Crib Escape

We tried to put Cole down for a nap the other day and he just wasn't having it. This is often the case, so nothing unusual there. We usually just make him hang out in his crib for awhile and call it "quiet time." This time we heard some different kinds of noises and then knocking on his door. We kind of figured he was just finding stuff to throw at his door, but when the knocking got louder and Kristin opened the door, sure enough, Cole was out of his crib. Since I was the one who put him down for his nap, for a second I thought maybe I forgot to put him in there and just locked him in his room. We put him back in his crib and he immediately started climbing towards escape.  Kristin let out a "fuck," which Cole of course immediately repeated. This is trouble (the swearing and the climbing).

Cole also escaped Grandma's pack and play. Below are instructions for the other toddlers out there.

Step 1: Toss leg up  and hoist self to plank position.

Step 2: Straddle top in preparation for dismount.

Step 3: Spin around and lower yourself down. Now run for it!

This weekend we converted his crib to a toddler bed. By day Cole thought it was awesome, by night not so much. He did not cooperate and kept getting out of his bed, so we turned the crib around so the opening is now against the wall (back to a full enclosure). Luckily with the taller back facing out and without the front slat he can't hoist himself up and escape. Since neither of us want to sleep with Cole, we will cross our fingers and hope this new setup works...until he is in middle school. 

Before reality set in, he was loving the new crib.

Easter Egg Hunt

On Saturday we hit up an Easter egg hunt in Brookfield. Cole enjoyed himself and, as you can see, got a full bucket of eggs, which he exchanged for a treat bag with a bunch of candy he would likely choke on. Sucks for him. But I am enjoying his candy as I write this. Cole did have a blast eventhough we only stayed for 18 minutes, it was frigid! Luckily Cole had the brilliant idea to put his jacket on before we left the house. If it wasn't for his brainstorm he would have been out there in his tee shirt. Thankfully we had an extra hat and mittens in the stroller. Also lucky was that we happened to have the red sand pail in the car. Not sure what we thought Cole was going to put his eggs in...I guess if we didn't have the pail he would have had to gather eggs in his hat.

The Easter Bunny did make an appearance, but due to the cold weather we decided not to wait in line. They trotted out an Easter Bunny the size of a grade schooler which was kind of funny.

After the Easter egg hunt we decided to meet Grammie Debbie and get some breakfast. Henry, as usual, thoroughly enjoyed himself. He has fun no matter what the situation and is always laughing and ready with a smile. A very far cry from Cole, who was always sporting his "neutral face" at this age.

Cole and Henry spent Saturday night with Grandma and Grandpa Stear, so Krisitn and I could go out for a change. Sounds like everyone had fun, although we were all pretty miserable the next day. Cole and Henry stayed up late watching basketball with Grandpa and were crabby. Kristin and I stayed out late as well, so we were crabby too.

Don't tell Grandpa, but Cole loves throwing his rocks around. I think there are some bare spots now. Henry liked to watch Cole mess up Grandpa's landscaping from inside the house.