You are late to every event, appointment or work because no matter how well you plan, it always take an extra 30 minutes to get everyone (and every thing) out the door
Preparing dinner for your demanding toddler (aka "the Tyrant") leaves you breathless and sweaty
You go to bed at 8:00 p.m.
You constantly hear phantom crying
At the end of the day you find a Cheerio trapped in your bra
When someone asks what you have been reading lately you refer them to the Knuffle Bunny series
You hug someone hello and instantly explain that you are well aware you smell like baby puke
Showering daily is a luxury reserved for the childless
You know multiple songs by the Fresh Beat Band
A super delicious snack is a handful of stale Goldfish crackers fed to you by damp, slimy hands
You smell shit and are 90% sure it is either on your hands or clothes
While talking to your husband you accidentally use toddler-speak and ask him for a glass of waa-waa or when he comes home from work instead of saying "Hello" you forget that you CAN pronounce your Ls and say, "Hewhoa"
You refer to your significant other as Mommy or Daddy...totally gross but sometimes it just sneaks out
At some point in the day it is not surprising to find stickers stuck to your face
Your house looks like a Toys 'R Us exploded in it
You are ecstatic to leave your kids for the weekend...4 hours into the trip you miss them
Parents feel free to share...
You eat dinner at 5 p.m. and think sleeping past 7 a.m. is an undeniable luxury.
ReplyDeleteEvents that have the word "family" in them actually seem like they might be fun.
You can have a whole conversation about what time(s) your baby woke up in the night.