Zoo Trip

Last Sunday we took Cole to the zoo for the first time. The trip started off well – I found out we don’t have to pay for Cole until he is three. And really, it’s not like they card him, so we can probably stretch that out until he’s four or five.

We decided to put Cole in the Bjorn, so he could see and we could avoid taking him in and out of the stroller. Luckily, my super human strength still allows me to carry him around. Our first stop was the giraffes. We thought he would love them because he loves his toy giraffe, Sophie. We were wrong. He kept his neutral face on.

Not Sophie

 

Then we saw a couple elephants across the way. Nothing. Just kept his neutral face going. It was at this point, a whopping 15 minutes into our trip, that I realized we wasted money on the zoo.

Neutral Face

 

There were a couple things that I think Cole did enjoy. He liked the fish a lot. I think they were easy for him to see and much more active than the other animals. We may need Uncle Jeremy to come over and set up a fish tank in his room. He also seemed to like the monkeys...we think?

Finally Interested

 

There was one thing at the zoo we all loved – people watching. I would pay more for the people watching than the animal watching. Just amazing. I had no idea the zoo was filled with so many dirt balls. The zoo gives State Fair a run for the money!

Some of the mind boggling sights:

• A Cole-sized pair of denim shorts on an ass the size of a house.
• A kid with a tail (like he’s not going to jail later in life)

Future Inmate #1106877



• A lady telling her 4-5 month old to "act like a grown up" and to "knock it off"
• A man in very, VERY short cut offs

Too Short



At the monkey cage we saw a man with a gash on his arm, covered in dried blood..Kristin almost vomited

• This lovely pair seemed to be everywhere we were. That gave us plenty of time to stare at the granny panty line through her dress. They are also the parents to Tail Boy.

Not Hot

 

Overall, we just saw an unbelievable amount of fat struggling to burst through tiny clothes. Like I said, it was pretty amazing. I am feeling much better about my parenting and I think Cole is a pretty lucky kid. 

Done with the Zoo